Taneesha: I woke up from the best dream last night. Wished so hard it was real.
Aditi: What was it?
Taneesha: A British company bought our company and everyone was forced to adopt British accents.
Aditi: What! LOL
Taneesha: And they hired Benedict Cumberbatch to come tutor us.
Christina: Cucumber Bandersnatch is doing what, now?
Elli: LOLLLLLL!!! Love him!!!!
Taneesha: And all the techbros were in revolt like “You can’t make us do this!” and I was just secretly loving it.
Aditi: Best dream ever.
Christina: Oh, I get it.
Aditi: The work stress must really be getting to you.
Taneesha: Could be worse. I only want to kill someone about half the time instead of all the time. Did I tell you what my little brother is trying to do?
Aditi: Something good or bad?
Taneesha: Fix me up with a guy! The brat.
Aditi: A good guy?
Taneesha: I guess? Name’s Diego and he’s a nerd but he’s our kind of nerd. So that’s good. But bad because my little brother is a meddler.
Christina: We younger siblings know we can get away with it LOLLL
Elli: Is this new guy nice?
Taneesha: He’s nice and he’s *verrah nice* if you know what I mean.
Christina: Pics or it didn’t happen.
Taneesha: Here’s a link to the gaming shop he runs. Couple of photos of him on the front page.
Aditi: ZOMG what a cutie. I’d swipe right on that.
Christina: So how was he?
Taneesha: No sex yet, you pervs. Although I wouldn’t have minded if he’d made a move.
Aditi: You’re surrrre he’s straight?
Taneesha: Pretty sure he’s as interested in me as I am in him, but yeah, he hasn’t made a move yet. I thought I sent some pretty clear signals.
Christina: That doesn’t compute.
Taneesha: I’m telling myself that gentlemen still exist and it’s not that I’m turning into an unfuckable hag bc work stress.
Aditi: Hope he comes through for you, then. Sex is the best stress relief.
Christina: You really want some stress relief, have him spank you till you cry. I love that shit.
Aditi: Or you spank HIM. Even better for working out your frustrations with techbros.
Taneesha: I think I better make sure he’s picking up my cues about regular ol’ vanilla sex first. Maybe I’m just hormonal and imagining things. Might go to a community gaming night at his place and see how that goes.
Christina: With or without your little brother? If this guy’s being hands-off is it bc Bobby is giving him the stink eye behind your back?
Taneesha: Seems unlikely. Bobby’s trying to push us together. But maybe Diego feels weird making a move with him watching.
Elli: Of course! Like how Harry wouldn’t hold Ginny Weasley’s hand while Ron was watching.
Michelle: *waves* Sorry I haven’t been around. The Noah Ward manuscript just came back for emergency edits and I've been head down in that all day. Taking a break before I dive back into it. How’s everyone?
Christina: Taneesha is getting dream-lessons in British accents from Sherlock and has met a guy. The rest of us are pumping her for intel.
Michelle: What kind of guy?
Aditi: Our kind of nerd.
Michelle: Good. I’m against mixed marriages.
Michelle: Nerd/non-nerd marriages!! They never work out!
Aditi: Oh, Miche. *hugs* Honestly I never could figure out what you saw in Ted. He seemed so dull and boring.
Michelle: I swear he waits until the minute Game of Thrones starts to call me about the divorce. And then he wonders why he gets my voice mail.
Elli: Make sure you call him during the Superb Owl!
Taneesha: Or whatever sportsball thing he likes.
Michelle: Oh God. Did I ever tell you he liked to watch golf on TV? Golf. On TV. Just trying to imagine the water cooler conversation at his office. “The ball, it was amazing, rolled right over the grass and into the hole. What a putt!”
Christina: What a putz, you mean.
Taneesha: Maybe I should try sportsball talk at work.
Michelle: Job stuff still awful?
Taneesha: Same shit. My strengths are math and programming, not office politics. It’s like they see my lips moving but they don’t even hear the words coming out of my mouth. WTF am I supposed to do?
Michelle: Well the catch-22 is you’ve been trying so hard to fit in maybe you faded into the background. You need to score some kind of big coup to grab their attention and shape the narrative in your favor.
Christina: “Shape the narrative.” Miche, you make it sound like it’s a PR campaign.
Michelle: It *is* a PR campaign! You have to sell yourself within your company or you won’t move up. That’s how it works. Make a statement. What’s your brand? Part of being good at your job is making them see what you’ve got.
Elli: Did I tell you guys about my job at the mattress store? I sold one right away because I invented a new sales technique.
Aditi: Elli, that’s great!
Elli: Not so great is that I got fired that same day.
Elli: The boss didn’t like my sales technique. I guess that’s what they mean when they say you have to...